


Hey There Delilah

by natural_singularity



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Eddie Diaz Week 2020, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:08:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24765190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natural_singularity/pseuds/natural_singularity
Summary: Eddie's been in a sour mood all day. Not angry or upset about anything in particular, but he feels weird. Off. Like he’s vibrating under his skin.For Day 2 of Eddie Diaz Week - Mr. Diaz Goes to Therapy
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 231





	Hey There Delilah

**Author's Note:**

> Plain White T's, you know the one  
>   
> thank you to @nearly-writes for reading this over for me and telling me its not garbage ily

Eddie's been in a sour mood all day. Not angry or upset about anything in particular, but he feels weird. Off. Like he’s vibrating under his skin. 

It seems like everything’s making him twitch. At the start of their shift Buck bounded up to him with so much excitement and enthusiasm, he couldn’t help but wince. Not because he doesn’t love Buck’s energy, he loves everything about the man; but because he knew he couldn’t match it. All he could muster was a half-hearted grin that probably looked more like a grimace. He didn’t want to hurt Buck by seeming disinterested, but given the way the man’s face fell and his shoulders slumped, he failed.

And that tension, that–that _hyper-vigilance_ or whatever, it draped over his entire day like a thunderous cloud. Hen clicked a pen absent-mindedly and he wanted to scream. Chimney teased him (in his very normal, very friendly way) and for some reason Eddie felt shame burning his neck, all the way down his back. And when Bobby cocked his head and asked if he was feeling okay, he wanted to bolt in the opposite direction or disappear into the floor. 

He spilled a little bit of his coffee and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to punch the wall or start sobbing.

The overnight shift was busy, yet Buck spent the entire time watching him, eyes calculating and concerned, as if prepared to escort Eddie away for his inevitable meltdown. Or pounce and pull him into the tightest hug. Maybe both? And Eddie couldn’t decide if all that attention was comforting or even more nerve-wracking.

Then at the end of their shift, as they made their way to their parking lot in the bright afternoon sun, Buck just said in that nonchalant, confident way of his, “Come over to my place, I’ll grab takeout on my way and meet you there. We can talk. Or not talk. Whatever you want man.”

Who was Eddie to reject such an appealing offer?

But now, as he’s heading up to Buck’s apartment, he gets a text that makes him second-guess his decision. 

_And try to be on your best behavior! There’s someone I want you to meet_ (Winking Face )

Frowning at his phone he replies, _Not this again. Buck that doesn’t even make sense_

 _Hey, it worked out OK for you the last time, didn’t it? Just trust me I’ll be home soon_ (Smiling Face With Halo )  
_Love you!!_

Eddie lets out a sigh and resists the urge to bang his head against the door. Buck’s not wrong, Carla’s a blessing, but that sentence really does sink his stomach. Right now his life feels so full, so amazing, what could he possibly need? He’s just having a bad day, it happens. At least this time he’s not worried it’ll be a blind date.

Hesitantly, he fishes for the right key and clicks open the lock; thankful that he can let himself in, but anxious for what he’ll find on the other side.

He creeps inside the apartment, as if moving slowly or quietly will rescue him from introductions and awkward I-just-met-you small talk, but nothing happens. Is Buck grabbing this mystery person up on his way? Are they already here?

“Hello?” He calls out, then waits. Nothing. Okay. So Buck has to pick them up. Spectacular. 

He drops his bag near the stairs and collapses into the couch, folding into himself, elbows digging into his thighs and head in his hands. He takes some deep breaths, tries to calm his racing heart and jittery nerves. Why is his heart beating like he ran up fifty flights of stairs? Why can’t he just feel normal?

There’s a faint jingling of bells from the loft above him, growing louder as it bounces down the stairs, until the noise ends up right by his ear. He pulls his head up and looks over to find vibrant green eyes blinking at him.

She’s a scrappy little thing, black fur missing in some places. Her left ear is tipped and she looks a bit underweight; she’s probably not a kitten but she’s not fully grown. And she seems impressively comfortable sitting next to him, even though this is their first meeting. The purple collar around her neck reads _Delilah_.

He doesn’t have a lot of experience with cats. Essentially raising three children by herself, his mom wasn’t too keen on the idea of a pet, no matter how much he and his sisters begged for one. But he played with the neighbor’s dog a lot, and his friends had pets. But. Still. He doesn’t remember the last time he was this close to a cat. Maybe the one that Buck rescued from that big apartment fire?

He holds his hand out to her cautiously, trying not to startle the little thing, but she only has to sniff him twice before head-butting into the palm of his head. A small, startled laugh escapes his chest, breaks up the overwhelming anxiety that’s been choking him for hours. He pets her slowly, alternating between soft strokes and light scritches on the top of her head and behind her ears.

As if he’s passed some final test, she meanders closer to him and flops over against his leg, her little head propped up against his thigh. She looks at him imploringly, and Eddie can’t resist, starts petting her again until she closes her eyes and starts purring.

He settles back into the couch, hand moving automatically now against her soft fur, settling his racing heart for the first time all day. His eyes close, his breath evens out, his muscles relax, and the fight-or-flight tenseness in his shoulders disappears. His mind goes pleasantly blank, the chaotic buzzing from strung-out emotions and very little patience finally quiets to a meditative hum. 

Absently he hears the creak of the door and Buck shouldering his way in, but even the rustle of takeout bags and clinking of keys doesn’t jolt him back into that frustratingly tense headspace.

Eddie blinks his eyes open again as Buck makes his way over, but the other man freezes, a delighted smile spreading across his face as he takes in the sight on the couch. Eddie offers him a half grin in return, still petting Delilah softly.

“Oh good! You’ve already introduced yourselves,” Buck chirps as he settles into the couch next to him, careful not to jostle Delilah too much. Eddie rolls his eyes, watching as she shakes out her fur and nuzzles Buck’s arm. Buck picks her up and cradles her against his chest, rubbing her tummy as she goes almost boneless, completely relaxed and content.

“This,” he kisses the top of her head gently before settling her onto his lap, “is my baby, Delilah.”

“When did you get her?”

“Yesterday, before our shift.”

Eddie hums thoughtfully. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Uh. I tried to? But you, uh. You kinda shut me down?” He adds almost reluctantly, scratching the back of his neck.

His stomach sinks again as he remembers the start of their shift, when Buck looked so excited to tell him something... this fuzzy little creature must’ve been that ‘something’. Dammit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to––”

Buck interrupts him with a shake of his head. He shuffles closer to throw his free arm around Eddie’s shoulder, rubbing gently at his collar bone. “You’re fine. Trust me, I get it.” He kisses Eddie’s cheek and offers him a small smile.

But he’s not fine, not really. For the past twenty-four hours he’s been nervous, and restless, and incredibly tense, like he’s been preparing both mentally and physically for some kind of doomsday, apocalypse bullshit. 

And yet he can’t pinpoint an exact reason why, he doesn’t remember anything specific that set him off or shoved him over the edge, and now he just feels exhausted. From work, sure, but also from spending the entire day arguing with his brain: _No, nothing bad is about to happen, and even if it was, you wouldn’t know it. No, your friends are not annoying, your brain is annoying._

He lets out a resigned sigh before nodding. “I should call Frank.”

Buck laughs in that self-deprecating, commiserating way of his, and nuzzles Eddie’s temple affectionately. “Or someone else. Doesn’t have to be Frank. But, yeah, a professional.” He picks up the cat and cradles her to his chest, and she swats playfully at his chin with her little paw. “Delilah here is not a licensed mental health professional,” he teases, rubbing at her tummy. She just _mews_ at him.

Eddie reaches over to scratch at her head again and she wiggles slightly, chasing after his hand. This is a Very Good cat, he’s already a little bit in love with her.

“You know, I knew she was friendly, but I wasn’t expecting her to snuggle up with you so fast,” Buck teases. “Then again I was the same way, completely won over by that Diaz charm.”

“Well, once she let me pet her it was game over.”

“You can pet me too, if you want.” Buck’s eyes are twinkling, a playful smirk on his lips.

Eddie snorts out a laugh. “Good to know,” he says. There’s butterflies in his stomach again, just a bit, but it feels good this time. He’s familiar with the Buck Butterflies. Buck will always make his heart skip a beat.

Buck’s smirk softens into a gentle smile. For a moment they’re both content to sit in silence and pet Delilah, before a loud rumbling from Buck’s stomach interrupts. Delilah twitches at the sound and she peers up at them in disbelief. If cats could roll their eyes, Eddie’s pretty sure this one would. She wiggles out of Buck’s arms before jumping down and wandering away, off to do… whatever it is that cats do, he guesses.

He looks back to Buck, who has a bashful smile on his face, and damn, forget skipping a beat; when he flutters his eyelashes like that, Eddie’s pretty sure his heart stops completely.

“Hungry there, Buck?”

Chuckling, Eddie claps him on the shoulder and heads for the kitchen, only to find his favorite order from his favorite restaurant waiting on the counter. He hears Buck’s soft footsteps approach behind him, feels strong arms wrap around his waist and another soft, lingering kiss to his cheek, and the last bit of tension melts away. 

He’s so proud of his life; his family and his work. Today wasn’t a reflection of his failure to _be enough_. It was just another Worst Day, and he made it through, just like he’s made it through all the other Worst Days. But maybe next time, he’ll get through a Worst Day a little easier.

Later, Eddie will start to research different therapies and counselors, decide whether he wants to meet with Frank or someone new. But for now they’ll eat, they’ll talk, they’ll have a good cuddle (Delilah included), and Eddie will take it one day at a time.


End file.
